The Haven by Carol Lynch Williams

Author:Carol Lynch Williams [Williams, Carol Lynch]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780312698713
Amazon: 0312698712
Publisher: St. Martin's Griffin
Published: 2014-03-03T16:00:00+00:00

14

The day went on forever. I was haunted by Dr. King’s stare, by Elizabeth’s straight back, by her not wanting to go. All day a lump the size of a fist sat in my throat, making it difficult to swallow.

And the pain. I couldn’t get away from it. No matter how I tried, it was there. In every part of my body, places I hadn’t even known I had before. All of it hurt.

That night, when it was time to get ready for bed, I walked in slow motion to the shower. Cupping the Tonic in both hands, I tried to keep the medicine steady and not spill it. Never had I wanted to drink the nighttime Tonic more.

Even though I’d showered this morning, I had to again. Sweat seemed to pour off me. My shirt was damp. I’d thrown up three times. Even the soles of my feet hurt.

In the shower, I knelt. My body wanted to give up. I was so compelled to drink that my hands trembled as cool water splashed around me.

“Do it,” I said. “Do it.” Water ran in my mouth as I whispered. My eyes felt swollen.

At last, I tipped the drink out of the cup and watched it swirl away, thinning to pink as it went.

The water pounded on my chest. My scalp was so sensitive, I didn’t think I could stand even a drop to hit my head.

“You’ll be better soon.” But I wasn’t sure. There were too many things I suffered from to just “get better.”

Like that, I felt the scream from my dreams tearing up from inside, from below my stomach. I bit my lip to stop the sound. I bit till a chunk of flesh came off and blood seeped into my mouth. I spit over and over, watching the red wash away like the Tonic had.

I kept seeing Elizabeth’s ribboned braid. Hearing her voice, that she didn’t want to go. Seeing her stand so tall.

The lump in my throat grew bigger.

I remembered them all, the Terminals who had left, one by one. Sometimes straight-backed like Isaac had gone. Others not wanting to leave, like Elizabeth.

All had been afraid.

I stayed on the tile until my knees ached. When I knew I couldn’t wait any longer, I got up. Gentle as I could, I washed my hair, almost not touching my head. The soapy water ran over my body, over my scar.

All of them being called out. James and Madeleine and Chloe. Bartholomew and Marte and then three males, all in a row—Seth, Jacob, and Peter. There was Damaris and Leah and me and Abigail. Mark, Edna, Lydia, Ruth, Miriam. Claudia. Isaac. Elizabeth.

Sometimes they came back.

Sometimes …

Worry coursed through me.

I wanted to run, escape, try to get away, even with this massive headache.

Their eyes. Their faces.

I had been terrified.

Don’t think of that.

Think obedience.

The voice was dimmer. Not so strong.

One step at a time. Just one at a time. I faced the water, let it hit my cheekbones. I could do this.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.